What is True Love?

As I sit here at the top of the roller coaster, all clinks have stopped. My heart pounding in my ears is all that I can hear. The breeze blows a little harder up here… But I guess thats because there’s less things to get in the way right now. Tomorrow, the locks release, and this roller coaster will be at its steepest decline. Tomorrow, I will go to the airport, and get on a one way flight to Korea.

Maybe its the reflective side of me that felt like writing this right now, maybe its just my heart speaking to me so loud I need to get the words out… Who knows. Anyway, today I wanted to share my thoughts on the most written about, sang about, and thought about topic in all of humanity – true love. What is it? What makes it true? Why is everyone always trying so hard to find it?

Well, to the first questions, true love is pretty simple. It is love, that is true. In English, a true statement is something that is verifiable and constant. In Math, an equation is true if the two sides are, in fact, equal to one another. In people, true love is a love between two people that is verifiable, constant, and a sign that the two people realize they are equal. 

I can hear the echo of what I’m sure anyone who is unsure of love’s trueness may be thinking, “But how do you know?” My entire life I have been so afraid that I would never find true love in another person. I knew that what I had with my family was true, but that other love that we all seek… thats a different story. I, too, used to be cynical of those who said they’d found it. Everyone always said, “We just knew… It was just right.”  This frustrated me beyond belief because it was something I wanted so badly, and the people who seemed to have the answer couldn’t tell me more than those simple statements. And then, I understood.

A seemingly random, unrelated string of events were woven together before my eyes. I met someone who didn’t make sense to me at all. All I ever really knew for sure was that I wanted to be around her, and never wanted to be away from her. As time went on, the weaving began to form something recognizable. And yet, it still didn’t make sense at all in my life. I was leaving, she was staying. No logic could make sense of what I was doing, but my heart told me that it was right. Luckily, I’ve learned to listen to it when it calls out to me. So when it came time to leave her behind, and logic said the strings should be cut, I did the opposite. I held on tighter.

I’ll never regret a single second of the pain I went through, because it taught me what true love is. It is a constant, equally understood, love between two people who are willing to put the other person’s feelings before their own. It is dropping everything when that person needs you. It is ignoring all logical advice when you’re heart tells you to be with them. It is driving blindly through a storm because you know they are on the other side, and you need to get there for them. It is a life that stops making sense when they aren’t in it. It is following your heart until both hearts naturally follow the same path.

THE TAKEAWAY: If you’ve ever been frustrated when you heard someone say they ‘just knew’ that they had found the right person, stop trying to figure out why. Because as soon as you start trying to figure it out, you make it more difficult to find. Logic will not lead you to them, it will only help you ensure that you stay with them. So let your heart do the talking for once, because it will never lead you somewhere you won’t want to be.

Equal.

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”    The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo

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16 thoughts on “What is True Love?

  1. Hi Jeremy,

    Very insightful. Having experienced what you’re talking about from the “other end of life” I am a believer in following your heart when it speaks. I listened to mine over 44 years ago and have never regretted doing so for a single day.

    Dave Hadden

    • Thank you Dave, your words are very inspiring. It seems these days things like this are so rare that it’s hard to believe they still exist. I’m glad to see that they still do, and will.

  2. You have been very blessed to have the “you just know” experience! I smile as i write this because that feeling is the most amazing feeling in the world! Have a wonderful journey to Korea and just knowing that you are loved will get your through EVERYTHING!

    • I’m glad I have your support Alex. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am writing a blog about my experience in Korea at koreansorethumb.tumblr.com if you’re interested in following along!

  3. I just found this post a few days ago. I went through a pretty tough breakup recently over reasons that I still fully don’t understand. I know I still love her and that she still cares about me, I think it was just bad circumstance for us at this time. I still believe that I’ve found true love in her, even if she’s putting me through the pain, and this blog really put in perspective my thoughts and feelings.

    However, I do need to respect her and let her have her space to let her grow and realize what she had. I hope for the best for us.Thanks for the sound advice and putting into words what I truly do feel.

    • Soman,

      Thank you for sharing your life situation with me. I can definitely understand how you feel, as I have been there before myself. I think that your perspective right now is perfect. Even if you were able to convince her to be with you again, it wouldn’t be for the right reasons, because you would have made her do it. As tough as it may be to live with the situation as is, you’re in the right place.

      If the love is true, then it will come back to you.

  4. I have dreamed of that drive in a snowstorm. I was frightened. 9/11. I loved the way you felt about that girl. You do paint a picture. I have got hung up on a person or three in my short life and it goes on forever. True love keeps stopping time for me now and I cry when I need to. I never knew what I wanted and still don’t. What is a relationship if we are not already in it? Trying to love myself has been such a chore, I feel so full of myself and ready to spill. I have nothing left to give at the same time. What did you think tomorrow?

    • Loving yourself certainly comes before loving someone else, but they are, in many ways, equally important.

      The next day I left for Korea and didn’t look back. Since then, it has been the best decision I could have made. We have become closer than ever.

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