I don’t know about you but whenever someone asks me about my favorite food, I usually have to think for a second because I feel the need to justify my choice. “It really depends, but I guess I would say chocolate because if someone offered me chocolate, I would probably accept in almost any situation.” Now consider how you would answer that question: What’s your favorite food?
Now, for a moment, think about that food. I will use chocolate for the sake of explanation. Now, when I think about chocolate, I know exactly what it tastes like, what it smells like, how it feels in my mouth, what goes well with it and what doesn’t, and all the varying types of chocolate that exist out there. I also know that studies have shown the chocolate releases chemicals in the brain that bring about better mood and alertness in the body and mind. Sometimes, even, cacao chocolate can be very good for your health. So, I think that is it sufficient to say that I know enough about chocolate to say that I like everything about it. I know that at no point in my life am I going to change my mind and say, “Actually, I don’t like chocolate. Nevermind.”
In contrast, there have also been foods I once loved, hot dogs for instance, that I changed my mind about when I realized what they were really made of. I used to enjoy them simply because they tasted good. But then when I learned all the junk that goes into them and the process involved, I saw what they were really doing to my body, and moved them down quite a few notches on my list of favorite foods. (No offense to you hot dog lovers out there)
This past weekend I spent three days straight with my girlfriend whom I’ve been waiting over 5 months to see. There was never a single second where we were not happy or out of sync with one another. And now today, after we are apart again, I realized why I know that this is true love and will never change. It’s just like the example above. I know everything about her – her personality, likes and dislikes, life goals, strengths and weaknesses, her facial expressions, her walk, her most commonly used words in speech, how she acts when she’s frustrated, how she deals with excitement/ anxiety/ stress/ sadness, her favorite food, her favorite book, her music style, her talents, and most of all, the person whom she loves more than anything. And when I take all these things into consideration, it is so easy to say, “Yes. That’s the girl I’m going to spend my life with. I’m never going to change my mind someday and say, ‘Nevermind. I don’t like all of that stuff.’ ”
I think all too often we become so excited at the idea of love that we blind ourselves to things that we don’t want to see. And those things, in the future, become the root of the very problems that destroy that love, and turn it to evil. Sometimes, we choose not to ask certain questions, like what they are made of, and so we don’t really know how that person is affecting our life until its too late. I made these mistakes many times in my life before I met her. But it is only because I made those mistakes, that I was able to notice the real thing when it hit me in the nose (or heart, I guess you could say).
THE TAKEAWAY: Maybe you feel that you have it now, maybe you’re still looking for it, or maybe you’ve already made up your mind that it doesn’t exist. Whatever the case, for a moment, think about how certain you are about your favorite food. Are you ever going to change your mind? Why not? If you have or are looking for a love that’s true, then consider how much you know about that person. If you don’t know enough to be sure, find out. If there are things that you try not to think about or ignore, address them with that person in an honest and constructive way. It is difficult to find, but only because of the process involved with getting there, not because of its rarity. If you want it bad enough, the Universe will conspire to make it happen.
Artwork by my beautifully talented girlfriend
It is my sincerest hope that writing about my experience with true love will help someone out there who reads this. The majority of songs, movies, television shows, books, and plays that have been created throughout the history of mankind have been about finding it in some way, and it is my hope that whatever I can write about it here will help someone… hopefully, you.
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