Why do we sleep on the same side of the bed every night? Why do we spend so much time on Facebook? Why do we read the kind of books that we do? I’m sure we all have different answers to these questions… but it is my answer to this question that motivated me to write this blog today. Yesterday my brother and I were discussing his music and my writing, and asked each other, “Why do we do it?” Well, here’s what I came up with:
At first, I started writing this blog because I thought that I had somehow figured out things that other people hadn’t. Hearing a lot of people older than me say, “Wow, you seem much older than you are..” and “You are a very wise person,” gave me a sort of superiority complex. Said complex compelled me to start writing as a way of sharing what I had learned with others, and therefore receiving their endless praise for such help. But this didn’t happen the way I thought it would, and the problem was reflected in my relationships. I was always the advice guy, hence the name, but too much so. I pushed people away by shoving my advice down their throat and asking questions after.
The aftermath of these actions eventually became very obvious to me when my friends started telling me that people didn’t like me because of it. I couldn’t understand that at first. It didn’t make sense that something I was trying to do for them, would make them dislike me… Then it dawned upon me. I wasn’t doing it for them… I was doing it for myself. I was selfishly seeking their gratitude and thereby the confidence boost associated with it. Essentially, I was giving others advice because I didn’t know what to do myself.
In response to this, I decided that I must change… and write about it as I go along. In my previous post, Some Advice for Chadvice, I started on a path toward true understanding. I started writing for myself. My blog became my accountability partner.. If I wrote about something, then I damn well better follow it in my own life. And if I faulted, I could reread my own words and help myself stay on track. In fact, I still go back and read them at random. But when I came here to Korea, the mental and emotional strain in my life steered me in a different direction.
Instead of writing just advice, I started writing stories. I realized that is it not the simple logical advice that makes its way deep into the hearts and minds of people, it is other people’s stories that make it there. And when I wrote about my first day of school, When Korean High School Students Give You Lemons, I realized that it was not only more profound for me, but also for anyone who read it. Sharing my experience throughout this adventure I’m on has proven greatly beneficial to me already. Now, I just hope that it can do the same for others.
THE TAKEAWAY: So why do I do it? I still don’t really know… My reasons for writing have changed already so many times that I don’t really know what this blog will become. So I’ve resolved to embrace this uncertainty, and let it grow naturally into whatever it is meant to be. It’s not about the destination, its about the journey. So why do any of us do what we do? Who knows… as long as it feels right deep down in your heart and gives you some happiness, then do it. Not everything is a problem that needs to be solved… sometimes, we just need to let it be.